Finish the Race

We have joined a new sport...cross country.  For those who have never had the experience,  you should stop by a meet once.  We have found the fans to be some of the most supportive we have encountered in any sport.  Regardless if you are the first runner or the last runner crossing the finish line you will have a cheering section urging you to give it all you got for those final few steps.

We happened into cross country.  Our daughter was playing volleyball but we were looking for a challenge.  She had decided to take a break from softball.  You remember we had a whirlwind summer of softball.  (You can check out the amazing season in this blog post.)  We decided to just hop into cross country.

 Ready for her first race.

Well let's just say we didn't understand the commitment and training it would require of our girl.  But once we did we LOVED it even more!  Her first race was brutal.  She trained one day the week of the race.  We didn't expect much and she did amazing.  She finished the race after several periods of walking, crying and fearing she was dying in 18+ minutes.  After she gained her composure she told her father that she was certain people died on that course. Ha!  She was ready to quit and her coach was certain he would not see her again next week.

If you know us, then you know if it is hard then we will push our kids and expect them to get through it and this was no different.  So I began to incorporate running into our homeschool day.  Our girl hated it but she is built to run.  Long and lean and already physically conditioned.  So we pushed on and trained a few days at a distance of only 1.5 miles and went to our second race.

This race was a big one.  Large number of schools participated, 160 runners, and a tough course with a hill aptly named "Big Momma" with its very own sign.  Since she is homeschooled, I am technically her coach so I walk to course with her mapping out her strategy.  (Yes this will cause a giggle for those who know me.  I am not a runner nor would have ever been considered a runner.) I was exhausted after just walking the course (and we took a few shortcuts).  We still had some walking and crying...oh and she told me she hated it more than last week but she finished and finished well.  Coming in 20 seconds faster than last week  44/160 runners and able to add just a little more confidence in herself even if she couldn't see it as she was running the race. Another parent/coach encouraged her to keep up the work and in a a few months she will become accustomed to running and would be able to medal.  She just nodded and when we got to our car she told me didn't care about a medal and didn't think she could last 3 months.

I didn't get a picture of Big Momma but there

were several hills on this course.

Now I know what you are probably thinking, why make her do it if she doesn't want to?  What purpose does that serve? We decided to let this be a teaching moment (or rather moments).  A gifted athlete that has excelled in sports fairly easily up until this point has met her match.  Something that seems almost insurmountable in her eyes.  Something she just isn't that good at and honestly doesn't want to do.

Doesn't that sound a little like life?  There are days that I don't think I am very good at my job as a mother or wife and would rather just shut the world away than face it but I don't get to do that.  This on a small scale could teach our girl how to face those days and push through.  So we talked and talked (and did I mention talked) to her about running, training, and never giving up.  She has no idea the life lessons she is learning but I do!  This is the fun part of parenting!!

Later that night, we talked about the race and how it went.  I asked her if she remembered what our goal was for today and she did...it was to beat her time from last week.  When I told her that she had she smiled and said "Really? Maybe I can do this." And that was the spark!  The spark I want all my kids to have.  The spark that they can DO things they put their minds and hearts into completely.

We went back to training and established a few goals for the week.

1.  No crying while running.  Her daddy can't stand it and honestly you really cannot breath well crying.
2.  No walking or stopping during the race so pick a pace you can maintain.
3.  Give it all you got when you see the finish line.

She was able to accomplish all three in her 3rd race.  She finished 2 minutes faster this week!  The spark was now a small flickering flame.  She didn't win a medal but the pride she had in herself was all over her face.  She had set goals, worked for those goals, and trusted in God to provide a way to meet her goals.  Side note...she still hated this running thing and was ready to be done with the season.

I decided to change her training up a little as I felt she was thinking about things too much.  I set a run keeper app and a timer at 15 minutes on an iPod and told her to run as fast as she could without stopping until the timer went off.  She took off all smiles.  I thought...Oh I wonder how long she will last.  She passed me after 15 minutes and kept running.  She ended up running for over 28 minutes and finished 4+ miles.  Not bad for a girl who hates to run.  

The next race drew a smaller number of competitors but a challenging course with hills.  Our girl took off and as she saw her daddy after one of the big hills she said I am good and took off.  She finished in 2nd place with a 14:30 finish (a minute faster) than last week and didn't seem winded at the end.  There were no tears and she got a medal.  Maybe this running wasn't so bad after all.

All smiles after the race.

Her next race would be the biggest and would have her face over 150 runners from the public & private schools all over east Texas.  She ran a fast pace and was all smiles.  She pushed herself and ended up with a few tears and tripping at the finish line (in her words "I collapsed" in a rather dramatic tone).  It paid off she finished 5th with a 13:43 (her fastest time yet).  We have an inferno now!  She is motivated, she is confidant, and she believes she can do anything with God's help. In less than a month she has improved her time by more than 4 minutes!

Best time so far!

Our season is wrapping up soon with just a few meets left.  Our girl trained on Sunday this week with her younger sisters.  Next year we will have 4 runners to cheer on.  Some will finish first, some will finish last, and one I am hoping will just finish.  But again where they finish isn't important.  Winning medals wasn't what has made this season so fun.  Watching our girl transform before our eyes was THE season.

So next time you are afraid to push your kids, or don't want to see them fail reconsider.  Maybe we don't push enough.  Maybe we don't let them fail enough.  The world is cruel and they will fail.  I like the idea they fail with me rather than later without me.  I can guide, encourage, and hopefully teach how to pick themselves back up.  I can direct them to God for their confidence and strength, to see who they really are, and to be certain that their successes and failures are not what defines them but rather God does.

In the last month we were on this journey into running, we were able to talk about what commitment looks like, how do we define failure or success in this arena, how hard pays off, and what it means to "dig deep" when you think you have nothing left.  We were able to let our girl experience self-motivation.  No one was on the trail with her running.  No one was yelling in the back part of the race...no one watching.  It was all on her.  She had the choice.  But you can bet that no matter what place or time she crossed that finish line I was all smiles, hugs, and cheers!  And that is what it is all about Growing Up on Dublin Lane.

Proud Momma cheering her on at the finish.