Tough Question

If you have followed my blog long enough or read our story, you know we have been blessed with 7 amazing children through adoption.  What began as a calling to love those in foster care grew into what is my family now.  Two of our precious daughters look different than me.  Black or "brown skinned" as they like to refer to themselves.  I hate describing them in this way but in order to express my point I must.  You see I don't refer to our youngest as the brown eyed one or my middle son as the blue eyed one. So for me to refer to skin color seems ridiculous. (Moving on now)

We have always been open with discussions with the girls about adoption and how our family was formed.  It is hard to hide the fact they look different than us.  Funny thing they don't really recognize it.  I can tell you of several instances where one will say "I have Momma's eyes" or "I have Dad's nose"  And that is true for all of our kids. In fact as the years pass and those who don't know our adoption story will remark how one child favors us so.  We just giggle.

Recently our daughter was asked to complete forms to participate in a sport.  One of the questions was about her ethnicity.  She had selected "Other" and we told her she had to select "African American".  She was perplexed.  She responded as if she thought we were ALL African American.  We explained that it was only her and one of her sisters.  She was lost as to why.  I had to bluntly say because you have brown skin.  Her eyes burned with disbelief and she said "But I have never been to Africa and I was not born there so how can I be African American?"

Then there was silence.

How was I to respond?  What was my answer for that?  In that moment her innocence was apparent.  She was unaware of society's struggle.  The plight of those discriminated against.  In her world (our world) she was just like us.  Her skin may be a different color but that is no different than Dad having red hair and her having black hair or Mom's eyes being blue and hers being brown. She identified herself not by her skin color but by who she was with us and more importantly in Christ.

So where did that lead us?  What or how was I to respond?  Did we fail to open her eyes to the historical plight of slavery?  Did we allow our point of view and limited exposure to prejudice cloud our parenting?

Before you start shaking your head, we have shared about slavery in America and the world.  We have talked about how others judge you based on skin color, the type of house you live in, and what country you are from.  We have traveled with the girls outside of our local community and the US for that matter.

So where does that leave us?  Just where we are.  Our children growing and learning about the world around them.  Figuring who they are and what they stand for.  And what am I to do in the  midst of all of this?  Reflect with them about the world around them always pointing them to Christ for all their answers.  I don't know how to navigate through each of these situations but my faith in Christ allows me to feel confidently I am not navigating this alone.