Why can't I just have a crystal ball?

I can remember as a child dreaming of my future.  Will I get that sports car?  Who will I marry?  Where will I live?  How many of you remember playing MASH?  You know that game that would predict your future.  Come on now....I know I wasn't the only one.

And I have a little secret...I would repeat the game over and over and if I happened to get the same answer more than once in a game it was true.  My destiny revealed  simply with a few scribbles in a notepad.

If only it was that easy.  Truth is no one knows what the future holds for our time on earth.  And that brings me to the most anxiety producing moment of motherhood.  The moment you realize you have no control over the future of your children.  Sure we raise them to learn the ways of the Lord.  We provide every opportunity for them to see Jesus in color.  To see what it means to be a follower of Christ.  To be able to recognize His voice.  To discern his truths in this chaotic world.  But at a certain point you have to let them find their way.  You have to let them own their faith.  They are not under your salvation but are held accountable for themselves.  And one day you have to let them walk out your door and give up any control you thought you had.

I have faced this shift with our oldest 2 kids.  It was difficult to not feel defeated and powerless.  To reason they weren't ready for the cruel hard world.  To fear I had not done everything I could to prepare them.  And with the arrival of my first grandchild in the next month I realized not only did I have to learn to let my kids (or adults as they like to think) live their lives now I have to let my oldest be a mom.  The mom she chooses to be not the one necessarily I want or the one I was but the one God wants.  

I have to let go.  And letting go is hard.  If blogs could play music on que I would insert a not so well known song "Let It Go" from Disney's Frozen.  Who am I kidding?  Everyone knows that song and can likely sing along with it.  But do we live the words. 

Let. 

It. 

Go.  

It means more than just letting your kids grow up.  It means trusting that God in his infinite wisdom and love really has it under control.  It means accepting the fact that I can't predict the future or control the world around me.  But even more it means acknowledging that God does know the future.  God can control the world around us.  And that God hasn't forgotten you the anxious mother who can't bring her self to stop worrying or fretting.

But in all things God is in control.  So we have to let it go.  Let go of control.  Let go of worry.  Let go of fear.  And hold on to God.

Each kid's faith is his own.  Nothing I do can guarantee my child's salvation. So as we are Growing Up on Dublin Lane I am letting go more and more each day.